You Make Me Live Again
by haneshi47
Summary: Natsume was devastated by his sister's loss, which made him realize something. What was it? ONESHOT, Natsume's POV


A/N: Sorry, minna. I wasn't up till today in as I was busy with my studies. I made this story just yesterday, considering that it is Christmas break here. And I won't be up again till the holidays, there is so much work to be done. Hope you appreciate this one – shot. It's not really my style to write one shots. ENJOY!

- - - - - - - - ClaRiSha

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_**YOU MADE ME LIVE AGAIN**_

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It's painful...

_I was down and feeling so low_

The death of my sister was almost unbearable. I failed to protect her...

**FLASHBACK:**

"Aoi!!!" I shouted. I was on a mission and slowly succeeding.

But 'that person' had to show up. Worst of all was she was with my sister. She pointed a gun to Aoi's head, smirking threateningly.

"Give me the Alice pendant, Kuro Neko. Or this little kitty here will suffer for you. Nobody would like that now, ne?" 'that person' said.

My whole body acted on its own accord. I wasn't thinking of the mission anymore, only my sister existed in my brain, in my whole system. My instincts were screaming at me to stop, saying that the whole thing is only a trap, saying to think the situation over. But I paid no heed. I kicked aside the knocked out AAO agent who stood in my way a while ago and headed towards 'that person'. She reached out a hand for the pendant and I held both of mine out, one holding the pendant and one reaching out to my sister.

It felt so right yet so wrong. I don't know why...

But all my doubts disappeared when I came in contact with my sister. It felt like I was in heaven, touching her once again. She smiled at me, happiness leaking out of her eyes...

But little did I know that that bitch will...

BANG!!

Before I fully had my arms around my sister, my hands were already stained with blood. Crimson blood. I stared at Aoi in horror, hearing the worst of all my fears. Yet, here it was. The ghost of the last smile of my sister was evident on her face as well as the renewed happiness in her nearly lifeless eyes. I managed to make out the last words that Aoi had mumbled and it formed words that had broken my heart.

_"Aishiteru and sayonara, onii – chan"_

She was dead, wiped away from the Earth, in my arms...

**END FLASHBACK**

I was ashamed of myself. I promised her that I will protect her, but I failed. If I can't even protect my sister, what more to my friends? Especially my best friend, who is more likely to worry about me. Which would make Persona threaten me again. And I don't want a bit of that.

So I decided to harden this mask of mine. I pretended that I don't give a care to all of them, not even Youichi. No one has seen me smile again. Everyone shivers at a simple glance to or from me. The mere sight of me terrifies the, scaring them to no end, making them scurry at my arrival. I ended up treating everyone as trash, like they were nothing.

But deep inside, I was slowly breaking up. Every time someone runs away from me, I feel my heart was slowly tearing up. They don't notice the twinge of hurt that appears in my heart when I see them together, and I, alone.

But then, **SHE** came.

_You took my hand and eased my mind_

I remembered those days when she would come up to me, stick those Howalons of hers to my throat, scolding me for skipping lessons and even persuading me to join those crazy presentations that that gay sensei had set up. But I wouldn't budge. I would just walk up to her, threaten her, call her names, burn her hair and then walk away.

_I was astray, you showed me the way_

But all you said, all that you talked about, had truth in it. Everything. I put up a show that I hate you, but you saw through me. Everything about me, you had found out. You saw the loneliness inside of me. You broke through the ice wall that encased the fragile me, the true me.

_And now I finally found my home in you_

You poked me out of my silent solitude. You pulled me out of the darkness. You made me recover from all the hurt that I had felt. You healed all the wounds that I had suffered from, both inside and out. I was truly grateful for that, for no one had reached out to me like you did. You were the only one that lasted through all my coldness and stubbornness.

_I still recall the times I've been through_

But I continued doing my missions despite the fact that you had healed the wounds I received from my sister's death. I promised myself that I's take revenge for what happened to Aoi. I worked myself to death, killing AAO agents, just to find 'that person' and pulp him to smithereens. To send 'that person' to oblivion, to hell.

_Confused and didn't know what to do_

To carry out my revenge, Persona made me go to more missions. Heck, I didn't even notice that he was using the situation to finish his work faster. He had used me while I was avenging my sister.

_I almost gave up, but you gave me hope_

But I hadn't had the chance to meet 'that person' again. And because I was so concentrated on reaching out to 'that person', I found myself failing my other missions. I was also spaced out I class, making everybody worry.

But then, she entered the picture again.

She took the situation in control, according to her point of view and justice. She persuaded me to study harder, to meet up with her every free period to study. I let myself to be dragged, enjoying the warm and care that she emitted, that I had felt in my sister's arms. He had felt the warmth that fire can't produce, the safety that fire can't ensure and a calm moment that fire can't erase.

_You've made me strong as the days went on_

Then, I realized that I treasured you more that any of my friends, a little more that Ruka and Youichi. You had seen through me façade again. You had encouraged me, making the dying flare of hope in my heart bloom once again

_You made me live again_

_I was lost in the dark with my lonely heart_

_Then you came along, you took me home_

_And made me your own_

You made the fire in me burn once again. I continued to put on this mask of mine, this façade, but you managed to squeeze through it. You cracked the ice wall and forced yourself entry. You pulled me out of the darkness and brought me to the light. You took care of me and my broken heart, mending it in the process.

I was greatly thankful for that for no one had cared for me like that. But I would never say it aloud, with you being a loud – mouthed person and you eavesdropping inventor bestfriend.

_You were always there to lend a helping hand_

When I had wounds, even if it was only a tiny scratch, you would freak out with worry, running around the area and screaming like a banshee. But you would soon calm down and treat my injuries. I had no objections, as I enjoyed you presence.

When no one can sense the loneliness leaking out f my mask, you would always be the one to comfort me.

_When things went wrong, you made them right_

When everything has turn out bad, you would always be there by my side, making my day.

_You've made my days so bright_

_You made me live again_

Everyday, you would greet me with that smile of yours, completing my day, decorating it with the ray of sunshine that you emit. You had succeeded in making me smile, succeeded in making me soften up, enough to warm my attitude towards you.

_I'm not afraid to face the world again_

I can go back to my own self after ensuring everyone's safety, especially yours.

_Cause you taught me how to be strong_

_You made me live again_

Cause I had realized...

_**I LOVE YOU...**_

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A/N: So, was it good? I haven't written anything in a long time, and my Internet connection is messed up. I can't write a new chapter. I'm having traumas for something that had happened in my school. My classmates won't stop picking on me. And I can't write during school, or else I'm risking my studies, with me being in the front seat and all...

**SO, WAS IT GOOD?**

**REVIEW OR I WON'T WRITE ANYTHING NEW THESE HOLIDAYS!**

All kinds of reviews are accepted, even flames, especially criticisms and reviews of appreciation.


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